Only Thing That's Right
by Blau
Summary: For the month of December, a new chapter will be added every night depicting how L and Matsuda grew to love each other. LxMatsuda
1. Notes

**(Revised 12/5)**

For the month of December, this story will be updated **every night.** The pairing is **L x Matsuda**, meaning it is **shonen-ai** (boys' love). Meaning these two will be gay with each other.

The title is from Snow Patrol - 'Run.' Chapter titles are songs from my radioblogclub list (link - http:// www. radioblogclub. com/ fav/ 0/ 801194 )

Although not postive, I may be doing this all year for 2007. A new pairing every month, but the story will be updated every night. Send in your requests:'D

**Taken -**

January : MelloxNear

February : WatarixMisa

March : MelloxMatt

April : LightxMikami


	2. Think Twice

First appearances were not to be trusted. But no one really thinks that; one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, and that's what happens. You judge someone as a prep, a nerd, an idiot, and they dub you the same way. All because of how you look. You might be what they see you as, but you're not only that. Some days you're a prep, some days you're a nerd, some days you're an idiot. Like a kaleidoscope, you change every day. You could be the same thing, but not always.

And so when L first saw Matsuda, he initially thought that Matsuda was an intern or one of the mens' son wanting to play investigator. And then Matsuda opened his mouth, and that first impression changed from intern/son to "idiot."

As for Matsuda, his first impression of L was "weirdo" to "smart!weirdo."

And while the "second impression" was more accurate than the first, it was not the only appearance the two had. Matsuda was not only an idiot, he was comic relief, he was the puppy of the group, the loyal member, the optimistic one, the one who everyone took their frustrations out on. L was not only a smart weirdo, he was a cake-eater, he was the one who made people diabetic just by having them watch him chug down the sweets, he was the leader, their very own lie-detector / calculator / laptop all in one.

A first appearance was a glimpse to part of a personality of a person. A glimpse was not all someone was.


	3. Black Coma

On the first day of officially working with L -- or, Ryuuzaki, as he told them to call them -- Matsuda had acted very much like the intern L initially thought he was. He scampered around getting records, making calls, fetching video tapes, retrieving lunch, making coffee, serving said coffee, and when he wasn't running around he was listening as L talked to the Chief or Aizawa or, sometimes even Mogi.

And on that first day, Matsuda had made the grave mistake of giving L black coffee. Chance that Matsuda was an idiot: 99.98. L was only giving him that .2 because, part of him reasoned, Matsuda didn't know how he liked that coffee. Still, the larger, sugar-deprived part of him made it a point to sulk childishly and stare pitifully at that mass of too dark liquid.

Being the genius he was, it didn't take long for him to figure out that the coffee would not suddenly become sweet just because he was staring at it. So, with a sigh, he got up and went in search for his beloved sugar cubes. Finally finding them, he lumbered back to his chair, dropped in some cubes, and finally drank his coffee.

Only to find it was cold.

Chance that Matsuda was an idiot: 100


	4. Rush

They had all been working with each other for little over a month now, still getting used to each other but slowly learning one another's habits. Matsuda now brought L coffee with a little box of sugar cubes, along with getting the rest of the team breakfast - Matsuda usually got cinnamon pretzel sticks for himself. L was used to Matsuda's antics and didn't get so annoyed at the younger man; oh no, he just simply ignored Matsuda in most cases. Everyone adjusted to hearing Aizawa berate Matsuda for something, to Mogi shuffling around quietly, to hearing the Chief and L talk with each other.

If there was one thing everyone got used to, however, it was working late.

Most days, work ended around nine. Aizawa would be the first to leave, since he was more of a family man than a workaholic; it had nothing to do with the fact that his wife called him and said he _better_ be home if he wanted anything from her, of course. Then, it would be either Mogi or Souchirou, but more often than not Mogi. Although they weren't sure if Mogi had a family to go home to or not, no one really said anything when he left. He was the hardest worker of all of them, silently doing his tasks without complaint. Souchirou had a family, yes, but he was used to working long shifts since he was the superintendent. Matsuda, however, was always the last to leave.

Since he had no family to return home to, it was fine with Matsuda if he stayed at work late. When it was just L and Matsuda, things were quieter. Both would do their own things, and only when the words started to blur together did Matsuda finally excuse himself and return to his apartment. Usually, L had a cup of coffee with him to drink whenever he could feel exhaustion creeping in. But of course some cups become empty, and it really was a great inconvience to get up and refill just to get some coffee. L could ask Matsuda, but the other man beat him to it.

"Ne, Ryuuzaki-san, I'm going to get more coffee. Do you need?" he asked, sliding his chair out and standing up, coffee cup in hand. Wordlessly, L handed over his cup. Matsuda left the room and returned minutes later, steam rising from the cups. He set one in front of L, along with the box of sugar cubes, and then snagged a couple from the box. Dropping it into his own cup, Matsuda blushed when L looked at him curiously.

"You always stay up so late, and I'm assuming it's the sugar, so..." Matsuda explained, attempting to hide his blush as he drank the coffee. Expecting the brunet to spit out the coffee in disgust, for not many could stomach something so sweet, L was surprised when Matsuda continued to drink. Blinking his eyes, Matsuda grinned. "Ah! It does wake you up!"

And as L slowly turned away to add sugar to his own coffee, he felt a new respect for Matsuda Tarou.  



	5. Iris

Although L no longer thought of Matsuda as a complete idiot, that didn't mean that L suddenly thought that Matsuda was a genius. He was now more observant of the younger detective, always looking over with interest whenever Matsuda offered his opinion on the case. His interest in Matsuda had grown ever since the night when Matsuda drank a cup of sugar-filled coffee; not many people would touch the stuff, so the fact that he had found someone like himself made him very curious indeed. And while Matsuda did notice the sudden increase in attention, he assumed it was because he was doing a better job instead of thinking that L was just curious about how Matsuda worked.

Whenever something would come up that required all the members to sit together, L would always make sure he was next to Matsuda. The first couple of times, no one really noticed it, but then it slowly dawned on everyone that Matsuda and L were sitting together all the time, which naturally sparked some questions about L and Matsuda's sexuality. Matsuda didn't think anything of it, but he _was_ Matsuda, if that explained anything. And L? L simply wanted to sit next to Matsuda, as if just sitting by the brunet would help L figure everything out about the younger man.

In the time in-between meetings, L would often sit next to Matsuda.

"Matsuda's not exactly smart," was the only explanation he would give, and although there was still suspicion the others would wave it off. Matsuda remained clueless, as usual. And he continued to drink coffee with loads of sugar in it too, at night. During the day he had water, because "he was short enough already and didn't need to stunt his growth by drinking excessive amounts of coffee" or so he claimed.

Coffee so did not stunt growth. Too much, anyway.


	6. Closer to You

As the closeness between Matsuda and L increased, so did the touching. And, as with the closeness, it was L who initiated it. It wasn't like they were groping each other or doing some really intimate touching - just simple little brushes that originally made Matsuda flustered and on edge and now only made him flustered (and even then, not as much). Casually, L would keep his hand against Matsuda's a moment longer than necessary. He'd brush his hand against Matsuda's back or hair, depending on whether Matsuda was sitting or standing. It wasn't so much that L was flirting; he was merely curious.

And as the contact between Matsuda and L grew, so did L's curiosity. He gradually went from small touches to holding Matsuda's hand or grabbing onto his sleeve. Like an elderly person, it seemed that L really enjoyed being able to hold someone's hand - Matsuda's especially. Not that he held the other members hands; that'd be gross. No, with Matsuda, it was like L had found someone he could share his love of sweets with. Although he wouldn't offer Matsuda any cake, he didn't say Matsuda couldn't have any cake if the younger detective asked.

To all the members (except Matsuda, of course), it was obvious that L was slowly gaining a crush on Matsuda Tarou. And while it amused Ukita and Souchirou (who knew what Mogi thought), it annoyed Aizawa. How was he going to get any work done if the leader of the group and the idiot of the group got all lovey-dovey?!


	7. Out of Control

While Matsuda got along with the others for the most part, there was one (with the exception of L) he got along with a _lot_. Being roughly the same age and liking the same things, it didn't take a genius to figure out why Matsuda enjoyed spending company with him.

Ukita.

Ukita and Matsuda were a lot alike. Both were single, both guys, both lovers of cheap ramen noodles. Both lived like college students, and both were extremely dedicated to their jobs. They weren't sure who the older one was, and didn't really bother to ask. It was simpler to keep age out of the matter, they figured.

If Ukita and Matsuda were alike in so many ways, it seemed that L shared one quality with Ukita. That being they both harbored a crush on Matsuda. And like the other, it was perfectly obvious the other was in love with Matsuda but couldn't really understand that they were in love with Matsuda too. For a supposed genius, L sure was slow when it came to his own feelings. They would both fight over Matsuda's attention in their own childish ways - L would have Matsuda help him look something up, and Ukita would come and insist that he didn't understand what he was doing, or that they should go on a break. Ukita would sit next to Matsuda on the couch, and L would worm his way between them and eat his cake and talk with Matsuda, completely ignoring Ukita.

However, even L realized that in the long run, Ukita would win Matsuda in the long run. Ukita went out and did things; it was him who discovered that Matsuda loved festivals and anything that got people together to do things. And if Matsuda was faced with the decision to go sing karaoke with Ukita or stay and work late with L, even the Chief's young daughter of average grades could figure out what Matsuda would pick.

And so, L unconciously vowed, he would do his best to keep Matsuda's interest. Permanently.


	8. Unwell

For the most part, Matsuda Tarou was healthy. He rarely missed work, and if he did he would immediately work over-time once he was able to work again to make up for the time he missed. Most of his coworkers from the police force said he should take more breaks, but Matsuda would laugh and say they weren't needed. Why sit around and do nothing? It wasn't really relaxing. Relaxing, to Matsuda, was spending time with friends. But, once a year, Matsuda Tarou missed work. At first, coworkers thought that it was an anniversary of something. A death in the family. A day when something traumatic happened to Matsuda. A family reunion. And, for a long time, that was what people thought. They didn't really ask; it wasn't that important.

One day, Matsuda had taken the day off. It had come as a bit of a surprise to L, who was used to seeing the young man's smiling face every day, and so L felt uneasy. He would get distracted and off-task, which naturally made Aizawa annoyed and the Chief have an exasperated look on his already stressed face. Ukita, on the other hand, looked kind of smug.

"Ukita-san," L asked during his break. "Do you know where Matsuda-san is?"

Ukita blinked and looked over; it wasn't very often L spoke directly to him. He gave a small grin and said, "He's sick."

This time, it was L who blinked, tilting his head slightly in question. Sick? He supposed yesterday Matsuda had been getting up a lot to blow his nose and he did look a little pale, but L hadn't paid much attention since Matsuda still acted the same.

"He gets sick once a year, and always around this time. And cold medicine doesn't work, he told me, so he sleeps the whole day to get better," Ukita continued. "I'm going to stop by his place to give him some soup after work."

Feeling an eye twitch, L struggled to keep his face expressionless. He didn't even know where Matsuda lived (although he could easily find out), and Ukita did? Oh, this was not good at all.

"Would you mind if I came with, Ukita-san?"

* * *

**Didn't originally plan to write this, but 'cause I've gotten my yearly cold (I only get sick once a year, I swear!) it inspired me. Hooray:'D **

**And like, it'll so totally drag out the chapters. **

**Sankyou to all who reviewed!**


	9. Everything Sucks

Albeit reluctantly, Ukita had agreed to having L come with. That day, work ended early, much to Aizawa's (whose marriage had been a little stressed lately) relief. Watari had hovered around worriedly, looking very much like a mother who was letting her daughter go on her first date, if such an expression was possible for the elderly man.

"It's cold tonight, Ryuuzaki," Watari had told L as he was walking out the door, the elderly man handing him a jacket and a scarf. L thanked him, putting on the jacket and zipping it up, and then wrapping the scarf around his neck and looking very uncomfortable. He wasn't used to wearing so many layers, after all. Not to mention the shoes. Oh, how uncomfortable they were! Even with the laces untied, it still bugged L, who felt as if his feet were being suffocated. Eventually though, after getting some soup (chicken noodle), Ukita and L set off for Matsuda's apartment.

It was close enough to their current HQ that a bus or train wasn't needed, and it wasn't in necessairly a bad neighborhood. It just... made L nervous. There were noises in the alleyways. Noises that didn't really sound like some kind of animal looking for food. Heavy breathing kind of noises. In the distance, shouting was heard.

"We're here," Ukita said, stopping in front of a door that looked about to fall off its hinges. L looked at it critically, before following Ukita inside the building. They went up some stairs, and L was certain he saw some insects scuttling about. Was this really where Matsuda lived? He made a mental note to raise Matsuda's pay.

Ukita knocked on the door once, before opening the door, ignoring L's startled look; Matsuda didn't even lock his door? In this neighborhood? He added to his mental note to give Matsuda a stern talking to about personal safety.

As L stepped into the apartment, he blinked. It was... clean. Well. It was cleaner than L imagined it. Sure, the table was covered in paperwork, the sink full of dishes, garbage spilling out of the can, but aside from that it was fine. Coughing was heard in an adajacent room, and then a floorboard creaked as the door was opened.

"Ukita-kun...?" a scratchy, nasily voice called out. A pale face emerged, brown hair surrounding it.

"I brought you some soup!" Ukita said cheerfully, holding up a tall can. Barely visible, steam rose from the top.

"Ah," Matsuda said, emerging from the room, a tissue in hand. He stopped, sneezed once, twice, into the tissue before groaning softly. His dilated eyes caught sight of L, but before he could say anything Ukita spoke.

"You should sit," the cop said, walking over and taking Matsuda's arm to gently guide him to the couch. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," Matsuda said softly, eyes droopy. "Ne, Ryuuzaki-san is here, right? I'm not hallucinating?"

"I am here," L spoke for the first time. "I'm... sorry to hear you're not feeling well." There. That was what was said when someone was sick, right? Or was that when someone close to a person died...?

"Than-" Matsuda began, before he suddenly began coughing. Ukita rushed foreward, opening the can of warm soup and putting a spoon into the liquid.

"Just eat, Matsuda-kun," Ukita said, getting a paper towel and a glass of water from the kitchen and then sitting down besides Matsuda. Feeling a twinge of jealousy, L stayed where he was, since there was no other available seating (other than in the kitchen, but he certaintly wasn't going to leave the room!).

Ukita: 1

L: 0


	10. Ever the Same

"Ah...choo!" A muffled groan as a tissue was pressed against his nose and face.

"Here," said the one who was pressing the tissue.

"Thank you, Ukita-kun..." Sniffle, and then a moan as he leant forward to have more soup. When Matsuda was sick, he was _sick_.

"Let me help..." the spoon was taken away, held instead by Ukita. "Open up."

"Nng, Ukita-kun, I can... achoo!" Sniffle, and then a pout. "Shut up."

"Say 'ah'..."

L watched it all with jealous eyes. He stood by the door, half-wanting to leave. He probably would have, if not for the fact that Ukita was still here. L wasn't leaving until Matsuda kicked him out or Ukita left. Whatever came first. As if reading his thoughts, Matsuda spoke up in his nasily voice:

"Ne, Ryuuzaki-san, why are you here?" he blinked, before holding his hands up in apology, nearly knocking over his soup. "I- I mean, I'm glad you are, but-"

"Calm down, _Matsu_-kun. Don't stress yourself," Ukita said softly, gently bringing Matsuda's hands down. He shot a glance at L and smiled at him. A smile that clearly read, _You know how it is._ Well as a matter of fact, L did not know how it was. And he took it as a direct challenge.

"I was worried about you," L said, causing Matsuda to blush and Ukita to gape at him. Sure, Ukita had been wondering why L had come with (maybe he was wondering what an ill person looked like...?), but he was surprised at L's answer. L, the super-genius and leader of their group, was worried about _Matsuda_? It seemed like a ridiculous idea. Improbable, boarding impossible.

"Ukita-san, you're dripping on Matsuda-kun," L said suddenly, causing Ukita to blink wildly and nearly drop the whole spoonful on Matsuda. At the same time, Matsuda blushed more at being addressed '-kun' by L and yelped when he felt the liquid rapidly warm his shirt and then his skin. A little too hot for his liking.

"A-ah! Sorry, Matsu-kun...!" Ukita exclaimed, leaning forward to grabe a tissue and then dab at the now-stained shirt.

"Eye glass cleaner works well," L mused aloud, watching the two as if he were watching a pair of insects. At their confused look, he blinked. "Watari-san uses it whenever I get a stain on my shirt."

And as Ukita faltered and moved away from Matsuda to go look for something to better clean up the mess, L felt a smirk forming on his lips.

Ukita: 1

L: 1


	11. Noticed

Eventually, Ukita and L left Matsuda's apartment after Matsuda nearly fell asleep on the couch despite L and Ukita squabbling. As Ukita and L walked down the street together, Ukita politely bid L farewell and went down the street opposite the one L was going to. Silently, L walked back to the hotel by himself. By the time he entered the hotel and got up to his hotel room, he slipped off his shoes and slumped onto the couch, asleep.

That night, he had a dream.

_"Nnn... Ryuuzaki-san..." a pant, and then a small groan as L nipped a shoulder and then, after a moment, bit down harder. Another pant, and then L's fingers sought and found a nipple. Rubbing and squeezing until it stood, hard and tall, L lowered his mouth and began sucking on it. A half-gasp, back arching up against L._

As the body under him wriggled deliciously, L felt himself stiffen. Underneath, he felt an equally hard length. Hair plastered to his head, L looked at the face of the person before lowering himself further so he was in front of the person's penis. As he opened his mouth-

"-san, you shouldn't sleep here..." Watari's voice came through, causing L to sit up abruptly, eyes wide. He felt his erection pressing against his jeans and was glad for the jacket he kept on. Nodding to let Watari know L heard him, L stood up and walked to the bathroom.

He needed a shower.

---

Sometime later, as he was towelling himself dry, he suddenly realized who he had been dreaming of. Why the sudden realization came then, L had no idea, but it did and made him stop and nibble on his thumb thoughtfully. It was Matsuda who he had been dreaming of, and while he may be socially awkward he knew what kind of dream it was. Usually, it meant that the person doing the dreaming liked the one who was being dreamt of, and L wasn't going to argue with what everyone said. Thinking about it, it did make sense; his interest in Matsuda, why he felt jealous whenever Ukita was with Matsuda, why he came along to check on Matsuda...

Still, part of him said it was impossible that he was in love with Matsuda Tarou, the team's most unneeded person. It would make sense if he fell for Yagami Light, his current most-likely suspect for Kira, who was handsome and smart and perfect, but no. He fell in love with Matsuda, the most unperfect person ever.

_Matsuda is flawed; therefore he isn't._


	12. This is the Countdown

When Matsuda came back to work, everything fell back into place for L. His usual routines came back, now that Matsuda had returned. No longer did he have to make the coffee himself; no, that task was once again done by Matsuda, who got the coffee prepared just how L liked it. He no longer had to have Watari go out of his way to make up donuts; nope! As soon as L mentioned he was hungry Matsuda was on his feet, saying he was going to go to a deli to get some soup (since he had just gotten over a cold, and didn't want to relapse), and did Ryuuzaki-san want anything?

But, naturally, since Matsuda was back Ukita was his usual self again. Letting his emotions get in the way when they discussed what to do about the new developments in the Kira case, and when they weren't debating Ukita was "talking" with Matsuda, constantly inviting Matsuda over to his place or out to lunch or dinner or some convention that was happening over the weekend.

While L expected Ukita to act like this, it didn't make him any less jealous. If anything, it increased his jealousy, now that he had acknowledged his own feelings. To see Matsuda laugh with Ukita, and then to act so serious around L... it angered L, to tell the truth. He wanted Matsuda to laugh with him. He wanted to go to conventions and out to eat with Matsuda.

And then, Sakura TV began playing the messages from "Kira." And L saw his chance. 


	13. Heaven's Not Enough

If the police found out Kira had contacted an individual, it would have been easily discovered and hushed up about immediately. If the police found out Kira had contacted a select group, it might have been slightly harder to find out about and slightly harder to keep quiet, but it was possible.

If Kira contacted the whole country, however, obviously it would be easily discovered. And obviously, it would be impossible to keep quiet about. Which is why when a message sent from "Kira" was played on Sakura TV, the small team working to find Kira was so frantic about contacting the television station to tell them to stop playing the tape.

It was only a split-second after seeing the message that Matsuda and Aizawa had whipped out their cell phones. L didn't say anything against it; so long as they weren't doing anything rash, like running out and getting themselves killed, it was fine... with...

Actually, that was a good idea. Not for Matsuda or Aizawa, but for another person.

"Ne, Ukita-san, can I talk to you for a moment?" L asked while Matsuda and Aizawa frantically tried reaching the person they were trying to get a hold of. Ukita nodded, a puzzled look on his face again.

"I didn't want to say this in front of the others, but I have received a message that Matsuda-san's family are being held hostage," L lied, staring intently at Ukita.

"By Kira?" Ukita asked, eyes wide. L did not reply, knowing Ukita would assume it was by Kira.

"We can't wait then! I'll stop him!" Ukita exclaimed, running out of the room, oblivious to Matsuda and Aizawa's cries for him to stop. L smiled; this was going just as planned.

When they saw on TV that Ukita had fallen in front of the station, never to rise against, L was a bit surprised that it was Aizawa who started yelling. Matsuda had remained silent, his eyes never leaving the TV. Hearing a choked gasp to his left, L turned, about to say something to Matsuda but faltering when he saw the tears trailing down Matsuda's cheeks. Curling up tighter in his chair, L wondered if it was the right action to lie to Ukita like he did.

Feeling Aizawa's grip on his shoulder, L gripped his own legs tighter and began trembling. What if that was a bad move, what if that only led to more problems for the team? What if Matsuda began depressed and quit?

For once, L felt like he didn't do quite the right thing. This wasn't the time to angst about it, he told himself. He had a crisis to solve.

And so he picked up a phone and did what he did best: organize from the sidelines. 


	14. Broken

By the time the Sakura TV incident had passed, Yagami Light had come into the picture and occupied the majority of L's time. L was now involved in a dangerous game of life and death, and it was one he couldn't lose. Just as well, because L didn't like to lose anyway. In the midst of all the planning and plotting his next move, L had forgotten all about Matsuda. When Yagami Light was in the room, it was easy to forget about Matsuda.

Although Matsuda didn't really make an effort to be noticed now. He still ran the errands, yes, but now he didn't ask; he just assumed and got. Sometimes he even asked Watari to get the food, although he apologized profusely for making the elderly man go through all the trouble. Only talking to contribute or explain an idea in a group meeting, one could say Matsuda was now as quiet as Mogi. The observational part of L noticed that it hadn't really taken long for Aizawa to go back to normal.

It seemed that with the arrival of Yagami Light, things had taken a turn for the worse for Matsuda. It was like his school years and his first years in the police force; constantly being called stupid because he could be a bit of a pushover or because of how young he looked. And while Matsuda could fix the appearance part by cutting his hair to a more "respectable" style, he figured he'd still get called stupid because of his personality so why bother with the hair?

With each hateful word aimed at him from everyone but Mogi and Watari, Matsuda could feel himself withdraw from the others just a little bit more each passing day. Ukita's death had hit him hard, and while his parents called to check on him, they lived in Hokkaido and couldn't really do anything in the physical sense. His coworkers, though... well, Matsuda supposed he deserved being called stupid in that sense. Did he really expect L or any of the others to sling an arm around his shoulders and say, "It's alright. Everything will work out"? And along with the verbal negativity aimed at him, it was getting a bit overwhelming.

Some days, Matsuda felt like giving up. Or at least retreating back into his quiet section of the world and becoming a normal detective again. Things were a lot less stressful back when he was a detective. But Matsuda had joined this group, and he was going to stick with them until the end.

Matsuda Tarou was not a quitter.

* * *

**I am declaring Seether ft. Amy Lee - 'Broken' ** **LxMatsuda's unofficial theme song. Seether!bits are L bits, and Amy Lee!bits are Matsuda bits. It fits them so well I think. And ya. :'D  
**


	15. Deviation: Matsuda's Birthday

Birthdays for Matsuda were spent ignored. It wasn't so much that his parents weren't the celebrating sort, because they were - they were the ones who fed his festival-going addiction, after all - but because Matsuda's birthday was so close to Christmas they would just celebrate it on Christmas day. As the years went on, his birthday slipped to the back of his mind. No longer did he wait eagerly for the months to go by, and then the days, and then the hours, for his birthday. He did get excited about Christmas, but who didn't? Still, as the years went by, he wasn't getting excited about the presents, but of the idea of seeing his family again. His parents lived in Hokkaido, meaning Matsuda only got to see them on Christmas because he didn't really have the money to be going so far just to visit.

Being so used to not celebrating his birthday, he was a bit surprised when Yagami Souchirou came up and asked if he was going to celebrate tonight. Confusedly, Matsuda had asked Souchirou why he would celebrate tonight.

"December fourteenth is your birthday, isn't it?" Souchirou asked, a single eyebrow raised. He was probably confused that Matsuda didn't really celebrate his birthday, since Matsuda was so into festivals and anything that brought people together.

In reply to Souchirou's question, Matsuda had laughed and said he would celebrate on Christmas, since the dates were so close. Souchirou wished him a happy birthday and the two went back to work. Having overheard the conversation, Ukita swiveled over to Matsuda and leaned forward.

"It's your birthday today? Let's go celebrate!" Ukita exclaimed, grinning.

"Aah, I was planning on staying later tonight..." Matsuda began, only to be cut off by Ukita.

"Working on your birthday?! Are you becoming jaded, Matsuda-kun?" Ukita teased, jabbing at his friend.

"I'm not! It's just that I paid my rent yesterday and don't have money-"

"Its on me! Don't worry about it!" Ukita interrupted again. Seeing Matsuda open his mouth again, Ukita mock-pouted at the brunet. "You'd rather work with Ryuuzaki-san than spend time with me. I see how it is..."

Hearing his "name," L looked up, blinking at the duo, only to see a smirking Ukita and a blushing Matsuda.

"If it's your birthday, you should celebrate, Matsuda-san," L said. Sensing he was getting teamed up on, Matsuda shook his head.

"I couldn't let you pay, Ukita-kun..." Matsuda murmured, frowning a bit.

"Don't worry about it!" Ukita exclaimed. "Just pay me back on _my_ birthday, okay?"

"Aah..."

"Should I come with, so you don't miss me?" L asked innocently, having continued watching the two argue. Matsuda blushed more, stuck between exclaiming it wasn't necessary and saying L was welcome to come if he wanted to. Ukita, however, solved the problem.

"Yeah, come on with! The more the merrier, right?" Ukita cheered. Without waiting for a reply, Ukita swiveled back to his spot. "Alright then! Tonight, the three of us will go to a karaoke bar!"

: Time Lapse : 

That night, each learned something about the other. 

Matsuda, though he had high alcohol tolerance, was a motherly drunk. Even intoxicated, he still made sure that L and Ukita were okay and had enough to eat.

L, it seemed, was alcohol intolerant. He didn't drink much, but the amount he did drink didn't even phase him.

And Ukita? Ukita was a perverted drunk. One who seemed determined to kiss L. Although worried, L couldn't help but feel flattered. It was the first time someone had tried to kiss him.

In the end, L learned a very valuable lesson: Never be in the company of drunk men. Especially when said drunk men are impossible to wake up after passing out.

* * *

**The chapter isn't associated with the rest of the fic. It's Matsuda's birthday though, so you gotta write something for him! Haha. **

** I tried. D;  
**


	16. Song for a Friend

Yagami Souchirou may not be at home much, but he knew about his children. He knew who they liked, who they dated, where they went for dates... call him nosy, but he preferred protective. In this day and age, a parent had to be protective of their children. Make sure they don't step over the lines, or - bam! - heart attack.

Over the years, Yagami Souchirou had begun to think of Matsuda Tarou as one of his own children. Matsuda was young enough to be one, in any case - he was only a few years older than Light. Matsuda was like the son Souchirou never really got to have - Light was a genius, ergo, he didn't need much guidance. But Matsuda, on the other hand, was of average intelligence. Meaning Souchirou got to dig into that paternal part of him and use it on Matsuda, giving the younger man advice and guidance.

And since Matsuda was "family," naturally Souchirou became protective of the lad. Which is why when L and Matsuda began sitting next to each other for meetings, Souchirou got suspicious. And those little touches confirmed what he thought before - L had a crush on Matsuda. Well, Souchirou happened to know how geniuses tended to act in relationships - either using the person or ignoring them. And maybe he was stereotyping, but it was hard not to when he had it right in front of his eyes - Light and his many girlfriends.

After Ukita's death, Souchirou noticed Matsuda's withdrawal. And, as he feared, it appeared L had not, too busy playing a game with Light that only geniuses could play. Instead of being one of the last to leave, Matsuda was one of the earlier ones, usually leaving with or after Aizawa. On one such night, after Light had left, Souchirou had approached L.

"Ryuuzaki."

"Mmm?" L replied, looking away from his computer screen and swiveling to face Souchirou.

"It might not be my place to say this, but there are other members in this than just you and Light," Souchirou said softly, staring down at L. The latter blinked, tilting his head slightly.

"I'm aware of that, Yagami-san," L replied back, a tone of curiosity in his voice.

"You don't really seem to," Souchirou stated, pulling a chair over so he could sit down and be at eye level with L. Putting his elbows on his knees, he leaned forward, the light glinting off his glasses.

"Oh?"

"You seem to forget that more than just Light has an opinion. Like Matsuda, for example-" a pause as Souchirou looked at L's face to see if there would be any reaction to the name. It was impossible to tell - the blink L did could have been a reflex, or a way of showing surprise. "While he may not be detective-smart, he is people-smart. Having someone with people-smarts is a good contribution to the group, Ryuuzaki. I would advise you not to drive him away."

Blinking once again, L frowned. "I'm driving him away?"

"Ukita-san's death hit him pretty hard. And you and Matsuda seem to have gotten really close lately. Being suddenly ignored isn't helping Matsuda much," Souchirou explained. Looking up at the clock, he let out a breath and stood up, stretching slightly as he did.

"Ignoring someone isn't really an advisable way to court them," he said. Pausing to let L think about that, Souchirou then excused himself to head home for the day.

And as L sat in the chair, the glow of the computer reflecting off his pale skin, it suddenly hit L that he had forgotten the most important thing: Matsuda.


	17. Upside Down

As it would be, Matsuda had slowly fell into the role of being the one in the background. And while he did still contribute to the discussions, he spoke rarely. Everyone did - it was impossible to get a word in when L and Light started talking. And while one would think that they would still have discussions even without Light, these were few; while L would occasionally tell them to withhold information from the young genius, for the most part there really wasn't any conversations amongst the old group.

Which was fine with Matsuda, who adapted easily into this new position he was in. Having been resolved against sulking like he did before, when Light first joined the group, Matsuda had one again become the loyal fetching boy, getting everyone lunch and coffee and whatnot. Slowly, Matsuda returned to his former self, though noticeably different; while he was getting over Ukita's death, he was still very much affected by it.

It seemed things were finally returning to a semblance of normality, with the notable different of L and Matsuda's lack of interaction. Sunday, however, deviated from the path. It was a bad day that went good (slowly).

That morning, Matsuda had woken up only to discover he had overslept. As he scrambled around to get ready, he spilled his coffee on his shirt and had to change, making him even later than he originally was. Halfway to work, he had bumped into a little kid and gotten ice cream all over his shirt. Too far away to turn back now, Matsuda wiped the sticky mess off his shirt as best he could and resumed on to work.

Once at work, Aizawa had teased him because he smelt "exactly like his wife," to which Matsuda shot back that his wife must be rubbing ice cream on all her clothing then. This made Aizawa fall silent and scowl; he knew a Matsuda with no breakfast was not a Matsuda to deal with.

As the morning progressed, not one person Matsuda worked with hadn't commented on his smell, L included. In all honesty, suddenly being under L's scrutinizing gaze after so long unnerved Matsuda a bit. Then again, having L look at someone hungrily would make anyone unnerved. Having L stare at him all day did nothing to improve Matsuda's mood, and it only worsened when he sat down and got focused on his work, only to find a hand in his pocket and a face against his belly.

"...Ryuuzaki-san, what are you doing..?" Matsuda asked, scooting back from L only to have L follow him since his hand was still lodged in Matsuda's pocket.

"You smell delicious," L said simply. "Like cake." At this, he raised his eyes to meet Matsuda and looked at him suspiciously, silently asking if Matsuda was holding out on him.

"It's ice cream..." Matsuda sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. He had to explain this already to Souchirou and Mogi and Light - couldn't there have been one person who didn't ask him about it? "Ano, Ryuuzaki-san, I'd like to get back to work..."

At this, L straightened and looked at Matsuda with wide eyes, remembering what Souchirou had told him last night. Matsuda turned in his chair, pulling L's hand out of his pocket as he did so.

That night, as Matsuda was preparing to leave, L asked him to stay awhile longer. Confusedly, Matsuda had, wondering why L was asking him to stay. He went back to his computer area, waiting for L to come and speak with him. It was after everyone left that L finally did so.

"Matsuda-san, could you come here?" L asked, not looking away from the papers in front of him. Matsuda stood, stretching a bit before heading over to L. Once he was within reach, L wrapped his arms around the brunet's waist, clinging to him tightly.

"If you want the shirt so much I'll give it to you..." Matsuda said, blinking down. In reply, L shifted so his legs were squeezing Matsuda's between them. Swaying, Matsuda put his hands on the arm of the chair to keep from falling.

"Yagami-san told me something last night," L said softly, voice muffled by Matsuda's shirt. "Something important."

"Eh?" Matsuda asked as L looked up at him. In the light, L's dark rings around his eyes almost disappeared.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away," L murmured, "and not being there for you when Ukita-san died. I know you two were close."

A sharp intake of breath as Matsuda froze at the mention of Ukita. Leaning harder against Matsuda, L ran his hands up and down Matsuda's back.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?" L observed quietly. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

At this, he let his arms drop and pushed his chair away from Matsuda so he could stand. Rubbing at the back of his neck, L frowned at the floor for a moment before heading towards his bedroom. Pausing at the doorway, he half-turned and looked at Matsuda, hair obscuring his brown eyes.

"I love you," he said simply, entering the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

**L and Matsuda's conversation was a pain to write. Fortunately, artemisgirl helped me with it a LOT. Thank you ♥♥♥**


	18. Better Together

The night before had left Matsuda in a state of confusion. So confused was he that he had stood by L's chair stupidly for five minutes, just staring at the door, before starting to fidget. Should he go after L? Or would that be rude; suppose L was going to bed? But L didn't sleep, did he?

Assuming the latter, Matsuda walked over and opened the door slowly, wincing when he saw that it was dark. Great. L really did sleep. Just as he took a step back, he heard a sharp intake of breath. Blinking in confusion, he opened the door a bit more and stepped inside the room. Squinting in an attempt to see better, he stumbled his way to where he assumed the bed was. His shin colliding with the mattress confirmed he had found his designated target, and he put a hand on the mattress to keep from falling on top of it.

It was then that a pair of sharp teeth latched themselves onto Matsuda's arm, and then he suddenly felt a pair of legs wrap around his waist and a hand tugging on his tie to bring him down. Wide-eyed, he looked at the face in front of him. In the dim light, he could see L looked curious.

"U-um, Ryuuzaki-san...?" Matsuda stuttered out, face suddenly becoming red. Half-expecting the position to change - maybe having L let go of him - he was half-surprised to see L made no move to let Matsuda go.

"Oh. It's you, Matsuda-kun..." L said simply. "I thought it was an intruder."

Furrowing his brow, Matsuda blinked down at L; Aizawa had enough trouble getting into the building every day, if the day where he walked in clad only in his boxers said anything. He doubted someone would really be able to break in without L knowing.

"W-well, I'm not, so could you let go...?" Matsuda asked.

"Judging by how you came in after me, and the blush on your face, I'm assuming you like me as well," L said, his legs letting go of Matsuda's waist and kicked at Matsuda's legs, so he fell on top of the older detective. In the movement, his lips collided with L's, and he lay there with a deer-in-the-headlights look as they kissed.

If his eyes could get any wider, they would have, as he felt a tongue probing against his lips. Gasping slightly, his mouth opened enough that L could slide his tongue into Matsuda's mouth. Letting his tongue explore the insides of Matsuda's mouth, he finally felt as if he had done enough and had his tongue rub against Matsuda's, trying to get Matsuda involved as well.

A bit too stunned to do anything at first, Matsuda slowly, shyly, joined in. After a moment, they seperated, Matsuda gasping for air and L panting slightly, a small smile on his face. Shifting so he was on top of Matsuda, he looked down at the younger man before reaching over to the table-side lamp and turning it on. Settling back to his original position, L simply looked down at Matsuda before letting his forehead rest on Matsuda's.

"I'm glad," he whispered, his hands gently feeling Matsuda's sides. Delighting in the way he could feel Matsuda twitch underneath him, he moved in for another kiss. Matsuda's hand, however, stopped him. Confused, L looked down at Matsuda.

"This isn't a joke...?" Matsuda asked. "You really do li... you really do?"

Pecking Matsuda's lips, L's hands found Matsuda's.

"Yes, Matsuda-kun. I really do." 


	19. Banana Pancakes

_I want to turn it upside down. I'll find the things they say just can't be found. I'll share this love with everyone. We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs. I don't want this feeling to go away..._

"...I didn't know you listened to American music," L said slowly the next week as he inspected Matsuda's CD collection. There weren't a lot, and most of them were old. And half of them were singers from the states. L hadn't known that Matsuda even understood English, let alone listen to it.

"Ah! It's my dad's collection. He had a penpal from there and the guy would send him CDs. I barely understand what he's saying, but it's nice to listen to, isn't it?" Matsuda said, grinning sheepishly from where he was bending over to dig out a pan in the kitchen. L let out a soft "ah" and continued browsing the collection.

"So who is this singing now?"

"Um... Jack Johnson, I think? Ow!" Matsuda whined as he banged his head on the counter as he stood up. Rubbing his head, he put the pot on the stove top and started the burner.

L stood up, swaying slightly for a moment as his legs adjusted to being used again. Once steady, he went over to Matsuda, wrapping his arms around the detective's waist and putting his chin on Matsuda's shoulder.

"It's nice," L murmured, breathing lightly on Matsuda's ears. Shuddering slightly, Matsuda managed a nod.

"Y-yeah... muu, Ryuuzaki-kun, are you sure we can't eat out? I'm not that great of a cook..." Matsuda pouted, glaring half-heartedly at L.

"But you asked if I wanted to eat with you," L said innocently, stepping on his toes so he could lean forward and peer at Matsuda. "I assumed you were asking where I wanted to eat."

"I meant at a restaurant! Not my house!" Matsuda whined, adding water to the pot.

"So you don't want me here...?" L asked again, jutting out his lower lip. Matsuda glanced at L to glare at him again, only to wilt when he saw L's expression.

"N-no, I do! But... you confuse me, Ryuuzaki-kun!" Matsuda exclaimed, setting the pot on the stove with more force than needed, water threatening to splash up over the sides.

"It doesn't take much," L smirked. Matsuda groaned, muttering about how everyone liked to pick on him as he ripped open a bag of curly noodles and dumped the contents inside. Watching him, L spoke up again. "So now they just need to boil?"

"Yup! It'll be awhile though, since there's so many and the water hasn't warmed... up... unn..." Matsuda said, groaning as L shoved him roughly against the counter top and attacked his lips and tongue. This time, it didn't take Matsuda so long before he joined in the kiss as well, wrapping his arms around L's neck, hands toying with the older man's hair. L made a mewl at that, before tugging on Matsuda's hands and pulling him back into the living room, shoving him onto an armchair before climbing on top of Matsuda as well. Once again, L started kissing Matsuda, and Matsuda was unable to do anything because of their positions besides kiss back.

After some time, as both were gasping for breath, it was then that Matsuda's eyes widened and he roughly shoved L off.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, running over to the stove to check on the noodles. He quickly shut off the flame, groaning slightly as he walked over to the fridge and got out some butter. Getting a fork out, he used it as a knife and cut off a chunk of butter, adding it on top of the noodles and slathering them with the butter. Once finished with that, he put the butter away again and added salt and pepper to the noodles.

"You want food from me so much, and then you make me nearly burn it. You make no sense!" Matsuda pouted, spooning the noodles onto two plates that were waiting on the counter. Walking over to the table with them, he put the plates down and got out another fork. L had wandered over by that time and wrinkled his nose at the sight of the plain, boring, not-sweet noodles. Catching this, Matsuda tapped L on the nose.

"I can't cook much else! This is the fanciest I can do, okay? My mom didn't trust me with the stove when I nearly burned the house down one night trying to cook chicken... but it wasn't my fault! Akira-kun had come over; what was I supposed to do? I was young!" Matsuda said, turning his head to the side to hide his blush. A hand on his chin and his face was turned towards L, who held a fork with the noodles on it. Slowly, L put the fork in his mouth and pulled it out, noodle-free. He chewed, swallowed, and smiled.

"It's fine, Matsuda-kun. Even if it was just cheap ramen noodles, it would still be delicious if you made it."

And as they sat down and ate their noodles, Matsuda couldn't help but feel as if this was what the married life felt like.


	20. Everything You Want part one

It seemed that Christmas had sneaked up on Matsuda. Although it wasn't entirely him being oblivious to what the date was, since all he really needed to know what the day was. Well. Even then, he came into work every day, didn't he? Although on weekends he didn't have to stay as long if he didn't want to - everyone needed a break. It was like constantly studying a subject. 

But one day he had turned on the radio and there the DJ said it was the nineteenth of December. How such a thing could have missed Matsuda wasn't that surprising, since Matsuda wasn't known for being the brightest color in the crayon box, but nevertheless he promptly called Aizawa and told him he was going to take the day off.

Reason: Secret.

Naturally, Aizawa was curious, but if Matsuda had called L's cell phone L would have had Watari track Matsuda down and there would go his whole shopping day. And that wouldn't be cool at all. So he went to the bank, withdrew some money, and walked along the streets window shopping.

For Souchirou, Matsuda bought the man a gift certificate to one of the more snazzy places to eat out at so that Souchirou and his wife could go on a date. The man was rather impersonal at work and so Matsuda really had no clue what to get him.

At another restaurant - one more family friendly - Matsuda bought another gift certificate so Aizawa could take his wife and daughter out to eat. Aizawa complained that his wife wasn't too happy about how much time he spent working, and he would say that he missed playing with his little girl sometimes. Going out to eat would be a good way to rejuvenate the family's relationship.

For Mogi... Matsuda was at a total loss. In the end, he settled on buying the man a small indoor plant. Mogi seemed like the type who would relax and tend to his plants.

And then there was L.

L... Matsuda really had no idea. He could have bought L some kind of sweet, but that was rather impersonal, wasn't it? Anyone could tell L liked sweets - Matsuda wanted to get L something that people didn't really know about the genius.

Frowning, Matsuda rubbed at his forehead, looking around as he did so. And then he spotted it.

The perfect present.

One that, to anyone else, made no sense to get anyone bought a young girl. But Matsuda had something no one else had. He had Matsuda!logic.

And that was so more valuable.


	21. Everything You Want part two

Dating someone like Matsuda Tatou was made enough as it is. One never knew when Matsuda would, say, run into a young child and get ice cream all on his shirt, for example. And Matsuda was cute, and polite enough that if someone came to rape him he would go along with it so he wouldn't offend any feelings.

Okay. Maybe Matsuda wouldn't do THAT. But he was pretty polite, and if he got mugged L was pretty sure Matsuda would just let it go, despite having no money to pay for rent.

So, naturally, L liked it when Matsuda was by him. Maybe he was being a bit parental, but he liked to have Matsuda where he could keep an eye on his boyfriend. He wasn't afraid that Matsuda would go whore himself out or anything, he was just a bit... protective. So when Matsuda called in that he was busy and couldn't make it to work on Mogi's cell phone, L got suspicious.Matsuda barely did anything on the weekends -- what could be so important that he had to skip work for it? Did something happen? Was Matsuda in trouble? Or... was he meeting someone else?

No, no, Matsuda wouldn't cheat on L. He may be a bit slow, but he wasn't unfaithful. If anything, Matsuda was _too_ faithful. Still, Matsuda had skipped work. And the reason for such an act had to be discovered. Of course it did.

So when Matsuda came trotting into work in the late afternoon, he apologized for any inconvenience he might have caused and bowed before heading over to his area. Or rather, he started to, for L called him over before he could reach his desk.

"Is everything alright, Matsuda-kun?" L asked quietly, eyes flickering from Aizawa and Mogi to the Yagami family that were talking in the corner of the room. Matsuda nodded, although it was a little too quickly for L's liking. Almost... suspicious. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Ah! There's nothing wrong, Ryuuzaki-sa... -kun. Honestly! I was just..." Matsuda fell silent, chewing on his lip thoughtfully as he thought of an excuse. L's suspicion grew, and he narrowed his eyes slightly at his boyfriend.

"Were you with anyone?" L asked, to which Matsuda shook his head.

"No! I... I can't say right now, okay? You'll find out soon enough, ne? So be patient!" Matsuda chirped, tapping L on the nose lightly and grinning.

"...fine," L said, pouting slightly. He glanced over at the others once again, before tugging on Matsuda's tie and bringing him down so he could lightly kiss Matsuda. After a moment, Matsuda straightened, his grin wider than before. Probably glad that he knew something that L didn't, L thought with another pout.

--

_Later that night..._

"Watari-san, is there anything happening in the near future?" L asked Watari later that night, once everyone else had left. Watari blinked, eyebrows furrowing thoughtfully.

"Well... it's Christmas in six days, sir. If that helps any," Watari said, frowning slightly. L nodded, giving Watari a little smile.

"Yes it did. Thank you."

Watari nodded, and L swiveled in his chair thoughtfully. Christmas, huh? Maybe Matsuda was out buying presents?

Maybe L should get revenge on Matsuda and skip work tomorrow to buy Matsuda a present...

* * *

**Once again, thank you to artemisgirl for her help with writing this chapter. **

** Only five more days to go!**


	22. Everything You Want part three

Matsuda right now, acting like he always did. Or Matsuda on Christmas, cuddling with L on the couch in Matsuda's apartment and watching holiday specials together.

That's what L had to pick from.

In the end, he decided having Matsuda snuggling with him was better than Matsuda acting like they weren't dating (L still didn't trust Yagami Light enough to let him know L and Matsuda were dating), and so he decided to go Christmas shopping. Besides, he could get back at Matsuda for making L worry about him like he did.

And so, the next day, L told Watari he was going to go shopping for a present and would be late coming to work. And, he told Watari with a serious face, "Don't tell Matsuda-kun I'm shopping."

The idea of shopping seemed rather simple to L. One just had to find a specific store where a specific item was kept, locate said item in said store, go to the register, pay, and off one went. As it turned out, L completely forgot that in order for one to buy someone a present, one must know what one is buying. Which L didn't.

And so he meandered about in the city, squandering his time without a second thought as he looked at store names and peered into the windows curiously. And though he was very much tempted to go into a cosplay store to buy Matsuda an outfit, he decided to go into a toy store instead. Matsuda was easily amused by things - surely he'd like a children's toy, right?

And so, as he walked up and down the aisles, he had to admit he was a bit curious about the toys children played with now. The dolls and the clothing that came with them were... well, scary, to L. He was used to china dolls wearing big frilly dresses, not thin dolls that wore skin-tight outfits. How was a kid supposed to get that on a doll, anyway!?

About to leave the store after a hour of fruitless searching, the corner of the store caught L's eyes and he walked over there, biting his thumb as his eyes flicked about the selection.

This would do... 


	23. Paints Peeling

There were times when L gave into his childish fears of not being loved, of never being loved, of being ignored and never remembered. That childish fear of not existing, because if he isn't remembered then what's to say he existed? If you've never heard of someone and never will, does that mean they exist?

In all honesty, L was more afraid of being forgotten than dying. If he died now, he'd be remembered, until the few people he had actually met died. And then what? Nothing. Just an old record of him solving some hard cases. Nothing special. Nothing to set him apart. He had not written anything important, and so he would not be remembered like Shakespeare is, even though there are only five facts known about Shakespeare's personal life.

Needless to say, L tried to ignore his fears. But every once in a while, the malevolent voice in his head would whisper, _Mess up, Lawl-i-et. You're never going to do anything worthwhile, Lawl-i-et._ And then the fear would come in, making him want to curl up in a little ball and stop thinking for five minutes. But the thing with L was that he never could stop thinking, was always analyzing something, even if all he was doing was eating cake. His brain was constantly processing information - texture, color, flavor, sweetness, flaws, et cetera. It was frustrating.

Having Matsuda around did help keep the negative thoughts away though. Or, at least, not affect him as much. Matsuda was so optimistic that it was impossible to be pessimistic around him, really. But if Matsuda's notions were completely out there, L would speak up. Matsuda might get a swelled head if he didn't, and who needed that?

Of course, dating Matsuda was completely different from just having him around. Because whenever L felt those thoughts creep in, he would just kiss Matsuda. And while it did embarrass him, L could tell Matsuda liked them. The spontaneous kisses might seem to Matsuda like L showing how much he really loved him, but in reality it was for a purely selfish reason - L didn't want to think, therefore, he kissed.

Matsuda!logic had nothing on L!logic. 


	24. Sun

When Matsuda was little, he didn't really know what he wanted to be. All of his friends said they wanted to be a sushi chef, own a ramen shop, be a firefighter, a cop, a singer, an actress, a reporter. And Matsuda smiled as they talked eagerly about their hopes and dreams and how they planned to achieve them. Take certain classes, go to a college specializing in whatever they wanted to be. Do their best in school. Get good grades. It sounded so easy, but what if one didn't know what one wanted to be? Then what? Was it really that simple?

All Matsuda knew was that he wanted to help people. Become a positive person people looked up to. But someone like him, from a small town in Hokkaido, would never amount to anything. Not really. Not unless he had an amazing singing voice (which he didn't), could play an instrument extremely well (which he couldn't - he failed at music), or could act very well (all he could act was being happy when he wasn't). He couldn't paint and could barely think up what to write for his writing assignments, let alone think of some great invention.

So, naturally, Matsuda thought about who helped people the most. And he came up with the detectives who worked with the police. Police kept the cities safe from violence, yes, but it was the detectives who found out who had done what. Police just did the arresting. So Matsuda applied himself and studied hard to get into college to become a detective, and miraculously he landed himself a job in Tokyo. Toyko seemed as far away from Hokkaido as the United States did, and although he was sad to leave everything he knew, he packed up and left for Tokyo.

It was at Tokyo that he met the superintendent, Yagami Souchirou. Yagami acted like a father-type figure to Matsuda while still keeping a professional air about him, and were it not for Souchirou Matsuda was sure he would have went back to Hokkaido. Not wanting to let Souchirou down, Matsuda worked as hard as he could and eventually rose up enough in the ranks that Souchirou brought him along to the NPA, where representatives from all around the world gathered to discuss Kira.

And at first, Matsuda agreed to work with L because Souchirou was. Matsuda didn't want to lose everything he gained, and so he stuck with the older man. But then, as he got to know L more and more, Matsuda began working for L and the people instead of himself and Souchirou. He wanted to protect the people he was working for, and while he didn't totally disagree with what Kira was aiming for, he was strongly against the methods Kira used. Killing people to create a world without murder seemed rather hypocritical to Matsuda.

As he got to know L more, Matsuda began to get more and more jealous of L. L was a genius, widely recognized and working to protect the entire world from Kira. It was something Matsuda would never have the chance to do. Which was why when he found out L liked him in that special way, he was embarrassed, yes, but overall happy. And suddenly L became a Souchirou-figure, someone Matsuda didn't want to let down.

Someone Matsuda _wouldn't_ let down. 


	25. Dream Life of Rand McNally

On Christmas Eve, L decided to stay over at Matsuda's small apartment and celebrate Christmas with him. Matsuda agreed, and the two decided they might as well get a fake Christmas tree (real ones were too messy) and decorate it, to help pass the time. Well, L would have been perfectly content doing things _too_ Matsuda, but he had to settle for decorating a tree.

Life was so unfair sometimes.

Being that Christmas Eve was on Sunday, their off day, and Christmas... well, you'd have to be a Scrooge to make people working on Christmas, L came over at noon. And with him was Watari. Although confused, Matsuda didn't say anything, just smiled politely as Watari carried in one large duffel bag, the fake Christmas tree, and two medium-sized boxes. Once everything was in Matsuda's apartment, Watari had said good-bye and left.

"Um... Ryuuzaki-kun, what's with all the stuff?" Matsuda asked, staring at the pile of stuff by his couch.

"Decorations for the tree," L replied simply, bending down and extracting the pieces of the fake tree. Blinking, Matsuda bent down next to L and started putting the tree together. After much trouble, they finally got the tree all nice and pretty looking. By this time, Matsuda was panting, leaning against the couch and groaning.

"That was hard!" he complained, head tilted back so he was looking at the ceiling. L, who looked as he always did, smiled at Matsuda and opened one of the boxes he had brought along. Hearing the movement, Matsuda rolled his head so he could see what L had in the box and his eyes nearly popped out when he saw the contents.

"I've never seen so many candy canes..." Matsuda gaped, staring at the multi-colored canes. L merely smirked, taking one and taking off the wrapper before sticking it in his mouth. Getting another out of the box, he put a new candy cane on the tree, and then another, and another. There was no special pattern to how he was putting them on - just a candy cane on every branch available. After a moment, Matsuda began assisting L. If there was no pattern, it was pretty easy to decorate the tree.

Matsuda didn't know how many candy canes they put on the tree, but by the time they finished it looked as though the tree was made of the candy. And, naturally, L had made a dent and put cane after cane in his mouth. He was like a machine!

It was then that Matsuda realized they hadn't put any lights on the tree. Just as well though, because there was no way the light would have been able to show through. And just when he thought it was impossible to decorate the tree any further, L opened the second box and revealed...

Hair ties.

Staring at the box, Matsuda could only gape as L began to throw the hair ties on the tree. Literally throwing. This time, Matsuda didn't even help. He told L he was going to make supper, the shock of L's decorating methods too much for him to take.

By the time supper was made and ate, they both decided to go to sleep. And so, curled up together in Matsuda's bed, they dreamed of a Santa made of chocolate.

Well. That's what L dreamed of, anyway. 


	26. Gone Going

By the time they woke up, Christmas had arrived. And with it was an extreme cold that permeated the apartment; the only heat was in the bed. A knock later and they found out that the heat had, ironically, overheated and gone out. So, shivering, L and Matsuda bundled themselves up and went into the kitchen. Turning on the stove, Matsuda made scrambled eggs for the two of them and turned the oven on, keeping the door open to get the apartment warm.

After eating, the two cuddled on the couch and watched some Christmas specials on TV. The attempted humor failed to amuse L, however, and he quickly grew bored and decided he'd much rather be making out with Matsuda. Matsuda, for once, didn't complain much and after they kissed for a long time Matsuda commented that he wasn't cold anymore with a grin. Annoyed, L made to kiss Matsuda again but he got off the couch, running into his room to get L's present. While Matsuda was doing that, L sighed exasperatedly and tugged the duffel bag over to the couch. Shifting a bit nervously on the couch, L chewed on his thumb nervously until Matsuda returned with a small box, to which he held out to L proudly.

"Merry Christmas!" he chirped happily, beaming. L took the gift cautiously, shaking it slightly in an attempt to determine what was inside. Unable to tell, he opened the present slowly and pulled out a pair of pink earmuffs. Blinking at them, he slowly turned to Matsuda, who by now was laughing nervously.

"You never wear socks, so heat is escaping your body. At least your head will be warm now!" Matsuda explained, smiling uncertainly. Immediately, a hundred ways to disprove Matsuda's theory came into L's head, but he remained silent. His gift wasn't that much better.

"But... pink?" he asked, twitching as he glanced at the ear muffs once again. Matsuda laughed again.

"That was all that was left, if you can believe it..."

L said nothing, instead putting the earmuffs around his neck and handing the duffel bag to Matsuda, who blinked and unzipped it, looking at L curiously. Getting it open, he blinked as a face stared up at him and Matsuda tilted his head slightly as he pulled the rest of the huge teddy bear out. Immediately, Matsuda grinned happily and clung to the bear, rubbing his face against the soft, fake fur.

"Ah I love soft things, Ryuuzaki-san! Thank you very much!" Matsuda exclaimed, hugging the huge bear tightly.

"I can't always be with you, so I thought the bear could be a replacement for when I'm not there..." L said, a soft smile on his lips. Matsuda blushed, letting go of the bear to give L a hug.

"I love you," Matsuda murmured, snuggling against L.

"I love you too."

In the end, there's more than one way to get warm without a heater.


	27. Owari

This story started out as an idea floating in my head in November and developed into this beast. After many hours of writing this throughout the course of this month, I would have given up many times if not for the words of my reviewers to keep me going and to threaten me should I not update. And so, special thanks to -

artemisgirl: There have been many chapters I would not have been able to write had you not helped me out with L's reactions. Thank you so much! I hope to continue roleplaying and talking to you in 2007. x3

Nalakaori-chan: Having you talk to me not only about the fic but other things as well has helped more than you know! If we only talked about the story, I probably would have gotten bored rather quickly. xD;

Fallen Phantem: Thank you for helping me with L bits as well! It was a pain to write, seriously. xDD

Thank you to everyone else who reviewed and gave this fic over one hundred reviews! Please continue reading my work, because although I will not be updating every night I will still be writing. And if y'all ever want to talk, just give me a shout and I'll add you on AIM or MSN. x3

See y'all in '07:'D 


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